


The Road to Home - part 9

by MiaCousland



Series: The Road to Home [9]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Nearly dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:54:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2562113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaCousland/pseuds/MiaCousland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Mia and Alistair realise how near they came to losing each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road to Home - part 9

_… blood …_

_… pain …_

_… was she? …_

_… move aside …_

_… touching …_

_… magic …_

_… faster …_

_… more spells …_

_… gone? …_

_… picked up …_

_… running …_

 

* * *

 

I could make no sense of what they were saying. Nobody was talking to me! There was a bubble around my head. I could hear nothing and everything at the same time, through some thick fog. My mind wandered from wild extreme to wild extreme, always moving from one vomit-inducing nightmare to another. Mia lay death-white and silent on the pallet in an upstairs bedroom of the tavern. Was she? No, I told myself, do not think of that! My stomach turned over with fear. It crunched and then untwisted. Could it be this time she slipped away from me? From facing the Archdemon, to all the weeks in the Deep Roads, to the weres in the Brecilian Forests, to scores of demons, my Mia had faced her fair share of near-death experiences and seen them all off. Every time – no matter how good or bad the chances – I felt the same lead in my limbs, the same catch in my throat, the same ache rampaging through my head. And I felt it again now. Not this time, surely. Please?

Doubt called from the back of my mind. _… Alistair …_

Aston moved around her with the other mages. Limbs waved and the air hummed with deep arcana. It was rare, oh so rare, that I even thought about my Templar training but the ends of my fingers sparked with defence spells. It surprised even me just how quickly they were there, ready for me to loose into any mage that dared fell any evil on her. My shoulders ached with holding them at the ready. I would hold them ready for as long as they were working on her. I was dimly aware of my lower leg aching and pulsing, and my toes being wet and warm. Many cuts all over my skin stung from the darkspawn blood.

_… Alistair …_

Bodies blocked my view of her and then moved again to reveal her as they worked, always showing the same spectral paleness. There was a ghostly beauty in the stillness of her face. She was asleep, surely?

_… Alistair … I'm always here for you …_

I saw her coffin, draped in the Cousland standard, standing on display in Denerim Cathedral. I stood on honour guard, my head bowed, my eyes running with tears. My love lay feet away from me, yet removed forever beyond my reach. This shouldn't have happened to me. Wait, it hadn't – yet. Had it?

I stared at her, willing her to be awake. Somewhere, somehow, a head blocked my view. I tried staring past it but it didn't work. When I moved aside to see her, it moved with me. I pulled back my focus to snarl at the fuck who purposely was blocking my view, especially now they grabbed my shoulders.

“Alistair? Can you hear me?” Aston said, squeezing my shoulders to which I winced.

I slowly looked into the green eyes of the mage who had been working on her. My eyes flicked back and forth searching for any clue. A red lining. A sparkle of light. Anything! I could feel my tension rising and with it, my heart rate.

“Breathe.” he commanded me. I felt warmness in my shoulders that slowly travelled around with my blood. It sang in soft voices in my ears, and tingled my toes, and hugged my insides. The cramping in my calves eased and the stinging in the open wounds subsided.

A deep breath issued from me. I didn't even realise I had inhaled.

“Good, now look at me.” I followed his command. “I need to heal you. You're about to fall over.”

Unbidden, he rocked back from me with a look of pain on his face. His scowl disappeared as the crackle slowly receded from my upright palms.

“Alistair, that hurt!”  
“I'm not going anywhere.” broke my voice.  
“She's okay, Alistair. She will live. Did you not hear me tell you that?”

In the midst of the blackness, I found the shred of diamond light I had been searching for. It grew stronger and stronger, until it burst from me, scattering love and light into my subconscious. She was okay!? I roughly pressed Aston out of the way and stumbled to her. Yes, her cheek was a little pinker! Her chest moved slightly up and down. I cupped her face with my hand. Maker, it was warm! It was fucking warm!

“Haha!” I laughed manically, collapsing onto the floor next to the bed.  
“ _Shit!_ ” cried Aston as he came running.

As he ran up, my head rolled to look at my leg that had now gone slightly fizzy. My trousers were sopping wet. I ran my hands over the dripping fabric and felt the warm, slightly viscous nature of the liquid. It stung like a bitch when I ran my hands over my torn trousers. Hmmm, soft and wet, and stinging. No, hurting – badly. Yes, it was beginning to throb.

It was as if the floor smacked my head which had totally stayed still. Suddenly the floor seemed very immediate and very cold. Not only that, but the colour was beginning to drain from my eyes. I really should try to tell someone that. Engaging my brain was exceedingly difficult and I couldn't manage much more than a few nonsensical syllables. My tongue felt thick and fuzzy in my head and besides, a sound like the buttering of head flutterflies in my … head made it impossible … to coherent … sentence form...

 

* * *

 

_“Boy! What are you doing?”_  
_“I'm ...” - stuck, that's what you are, Alistair Theirin - “… just … getting …” - had to go and find some food, didn't you? - “I'm sorry.” - put your hands behind your back, now!_

_The blonde girl came closer. Instead of standing scowling at the end of the dark corridor, she was now a few paces away with her arms crossed. She couldn't have been more than a few paces away. A very threatening eight year old was telling me off. She was my senior I suppose, in all but age. I had, what, two years on her? That obviously made me superior – right? Then why did I feel like I was being told off by Arlessa herself. This young noble in front of me certainly had that bearing._

_“Show me what you have behind your back.”_

_This was going to get embarrassing. My cheeks were burning already. If I dropped my quarry, she'd still see it. Oh well, best to get this over with. Here goes …_

_“Cook's cheese bread?” she asked suddenly as she snatched it out of my hand. “You've stolen … bread?” She looked at me in such an incredulous way it pinned me to the floor. “Shame on you!”_  
_“I was hungry.” was the honest answer._

_Those blue eyes searched my face. I'm sure she was going to laugh at my blushing. Here I was, virtually a man, and I was stealing food. It didn't matter that I had been kept out of the building and made to stay with the horses. I hadn't seen anything of anyone, just the soldiers practicing. I was too young to spar with them and too old to be allowed to just play. Mucking out the horses it was. As such, with no-one to talk to, people forgot about me. This midnight raid was a result of not being allowed to eat with the others, or sometimes not at all._

_“Please don't tell the Arlessa!” I blurted._  
_“What about my father, the Teyrn? You are guests of ours. Isn't he the one to be worried about?”_

_I shook my head ever so gently and I could feel tears prick at the side of my eyes._

_“Please.” I mumbled, casting my eyes to the floor. “Please don't.”_

_It felt interminable as I stared at the flags below my feet. I shouldn't have done it. I had brought shame on Arl Eamonn, on one of the rare trips away from Redcliffe I was allowed to accompany him on, and possibly the last._

_A warm hand slipped into mine. I looked to see her try to catch my downturned eyes. She smiled at me. She gave me a very quick hug before pressing the bread into my hand._

_“Nobody should ever be hungry. Please take it. I won't tell anyone.”_

_With that, she turned and ran away from me. I was left slightly confused but hugely optimistic. She hadn't got to the end of the corridor before I had ripped the bread apart with my teeth. As I savoured every last salty and buttery wonderful flavour, I stared into the darkness. Not many people would have done the same in her situation. I smiled, turned and virtually ran back to the sanctity of the stables._

 

* * *

 

I woke before my eyes opened. My bed was warm, the room peaceful and gentle fingers played with my face. There was a very good chance I knew who it was and I smiled. I lifted my arm and enclosed it with my own hand, making the owner cup my cheek. Mia's hands were warm but a little rough, bizarrely enough. And quite big. Certainly not how I remembered them. There was a familiar giggle but not where I thought it would be coming from.

Slowly opening my eyes, I could see Aston sitting on the bed with me with his hand on my face.

“I didn't know you cared.” he said, barely surpressing a wry grin.  
“I told you, Aston. He is a total man-whore.” came the quiet voice I had been expecting, at which I dropped my hand from his.

I tried to look around the room but anything beyond my healer was blurred. I could tell a lot of dark shapes stood at the back of the room but there was no chance of distinguishing any features. It was vaguely threatening seeing the floating, clouded shapes, knowing I couldn't decipher them. My fighting circle would be irreparably damaged if this continued. I prayed to the Maker it wouldn't.

“Mia, where are you? I can't see you.”

Feet quickened and she alighted on the bed next to me; awkwardly though, I noticed, and with a limp and a wince. The intimate hand that I knew so well took mine and squeezed it lightly.

“Can you see me now, my darling?”

Blue eyes sparkled down at me, limned with red and wet with tears. Her cheeks were swollen and sallow. Concern immediately took hold and furrowed my brow.

“Why are you crying, Mia? My love?”  
“I'm okay, Alistair, I'm okay.” She turned to look at Aston. “Next one?”  
“I'm afraid so. Alistair...”

I could have sworn I heard a growl from near the back of the room. It roughly booted my protector senses into action. If there were invaders then I was going to fight them. Two hands on both my shoulders pushed me very firmly back down onto the pillow as I tried to sit up. My hazy head told my mind it was enemies holding me back so I tried again, more violently this time. Two people put their weight behind it this time. I gave up when a large and very loud hum in my ears made me feel dizzy. Blood rushed about my system and queasiness washed over my body. “Urgh...” I said, slumping back down on the bed.

“Alistair, listen to me.” Mia said, firmly placing her hands on either side of my head and bringing her face very close to mine. I could see fresh tears falling. “If you try that again, I will command Aston to place a glyph of paralysis around you. You stupid berk, you almost died yesterday. Do. Not. Fucking. Move. Unless he tells you to.”  
“Okay.” I obeyed meekly, willing the sickness to subside.  
“Now, I need to get you to drink something, your Majesty.” Aston said. I rolled my eyes to meet Mia's for an explanation. Your Majesty? She simply shook her head and stayed silent. I would have to trust her.

Supple fingers slipped behind my neck and with the practiced hand of a healer, gently lifted my head off the pillow. My lips touched the neck of a bottle and a bitter liquid was carefully tipped into my mouth. I recognised the awfully stringent taste of a potent healing potion, masquerading behind another liquid. Maker, it tasted awful. I was maybe dense at times, and tended to say the wrong things or let my mouth run away with itself, but I was sensible enough to recognise that things must have been dire if people were making me drink those. I swallowed under duress but immediately felt nauseous, and also ridiculously tired.

“That's better.”Mia smiled as my eyes drifted shut. “Aston has given you medicine and a sleeping draught. You need to go to sleep.”  
“Mmm, will do.” I murmured, already feeling the desire for a good snooze take over.  
“I love you, my darling.” Mia said as my eyes drifted shut. “I'll wait right here for you to wake up.”

 

* * *

 

“I don't care if they want to come in. They can wait outside with the rest of them. Go and tell them that! And convey my order that they are to be quiet. Do not make me come out there.”

I could hear Mia talking with someone outside the doorway to the room. In fact, as I glanced across, I realised with joy that I could see her. She was perfect! I could see every sparkling, contoured outline of my wonderful wife. My sight had returned. Well, she was wearing a long dress of exceptional quality. It was green and it looked like velvet. What a coincidence, I thought, that someone has a dress to fit her from round these parts. Fergus must have sent something from the castle. There were many pillows behind me and it was a while before I figured out that I was slightly sat up. A quick glance around the room told me many things but most of all that my nausea had not returned. Yay! Three cheers for mages! But of course, no-one would ever hear me say that, except for mind-reading mages, or demons. Yes, it was possible I may come into contact with one of those one day. Right, time to forget I thought that. Lalalalala...

“Right now, what I care about is that man.” stated Mia, very pertinently. “I know you mean well but they can leave us alone for now. He does not need to see you.” I could hear a faint murmuring in reply. “Yes, of course you can return but you stay outside the door. And for Maker's sake, let the patrons in. Or at least, tell the bar to take drinks out to them. We will pay for them. They saved our lives, and the lives of those in Highever.” More murmuring. “And find me some food. Please.”

She had her arms crossed as she glared at someone. I knew that look very well. That other somebody was not in for an easy time. As they huffed and turned and walked away down the corridor, my ears tried to pick out clues. There was a faint growl, the same as before, which was deep and gruff; probably a man, although I had known a few women in my time that could reach that pitch. It was a heavy footfall, perhaps indicating someone who was tall or heavily set. I heard the faint chink of spurs, which indicated horses. Who could it be?  A Knight perhaps?

Mia narrowed her eyes, and her arms very much stayed crossed, until I heard the faint click of a door shutting. With a growl from herself, she turned back to me. Seeing I was awake, a smile of purest sunshine burst from her mouth and she hobbled over to me quickly.

“Are your legs okay?” I asked as she sat down on the bed rather awkwardly. The hem of her luscious dress was pulled up to reveal that both calf and thigh were heavily strapped.  
“My back has a lot of bandaging. Aston has done something to the strapping on the back to keep it stiff and upright. Apparently, I have to have one more shot of his healing draught and I should be ready to try stretching it.”  
“We never had this problem when we were out on the road.” I grinned slowly at her.  
“Well, we had Wonder Wynne along with us. She could have cured death itself. In fact, didn't she a couple of times? Hmm, maybe.” Mia wittered on. There was a lilt to her voice and an eagerness to talk athat I found wonderful to listen to, but there was also a falseness in the way her voice hitched that screamed she wasn't telling me everything.  
“Mia …?” I prompted tenderly, laying my arm on her leg. “What's wrong?”

She turned to me, once again with red eyes, but this time from tears forming and about to fall. I knew her and she didn't cry this much. She hardly cried at all. Maker, her family were murdered all about her and it took her a year to cry. What was wrong!?

“Alistair, I have fought alongside you for a year, and I've loved you for most of that time. You are my mirror soul.”  
“I know that, my love.” I said softly. Her brow creased as she thought of what to say next and mine furrowed as well, almost in pathos with hers.  
“I came the closest I've ever come to losing you last night. Despite the Archdemon and all the foes we fought with, the Maker almost claimed you after yesterday's fight. That cannot happen again.”

Tears were falling now. She didn't even brush them away. The slump of her shoulders told of her melancholy. I sat up without thinking and clutched her to me. “I'm still here.” I whispered into her hair as I stroked her back. I tried to hug her tighter but she winced at the squeeze.

“Oh yes, sorry!” I begged quietly as I let go swiftly and sat back. “How?” I whispered. “Tell me everything.”  
“All I remember was flying back into something hard.”  
“A rock of all stupid things.” I told her with a poignant smile. “Although it _was_ large and jagged.”  
“I heard you scream and saw you run. Did you take down the ogre?”  
“I do believe the end of my sword staked his head to the ground via its brain, yes.”  
“Well, apparently, in all that flailing, the end of its horn ripped your thigh apart. You started haemorrhaging but you wouldn't stop. They didn't realise how serious it was until you collapsed on the floor next to me and they undressed you. They think your Warden abilities kept you alive but they're willing to bet on a blind bit of luck too. Aston stabilised you but you had lost too much blood. He fought to keep you here for three hours. Three hours of hovering over you, listening to your body, fighting with the Maker to keep you this side of the Veil. Not even daring to lift protective spells an inch. When he could finally relax his muscles a little, he then had to prepare a shitload of potions for you and for me.”  
“Where is he?”  
“He would not leave your side but he himself collapsed with exhaustion. The most we could do was set up a cot in the corner out in the corridor.” she nodded, indicating the door. Mia took a deep breath and stared at me with the most fearful look I'd ever seen in her eyes. “He said 'prepare yourself' to me, Alistair.”

I kept quiet but squeezed her hand. She hurriedly brushed away another track of tears. After a few deep breaths, I saw the self-control that I knew she used so well present another face. A happier one this time. It was almost as if she had told me that by morphing and changing faces, the you-almost-died conversation was very definitely over.

“Anyway, I have other news.”  
“Mia,” I chastened humbly, “anything else can wait.”  
“I must say,” she purred, forcibly cheering herself up but albeit falsely, “that I approve of this nurse and patient relationship we have going on here. I can think of very fun things that we could do.”  
“Yes?” I grinned as I ran a hand lovingly up her arm. I didn't care that it was bordering on the very strange that she would be turned on by sick people but I let that pass.  
“Oh, very much so. I will enjoy being out of these bandages and looking after you.”

I smiled at her as my fingers danced up her arms. My health must have improved.

“I must say this dress is very becoming, my darling. Did Fergus send it?”  
“Not exactly.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Have you noticed my hair, my jewellery, anything else besides my dress? Or was it just because the dress clung to my breasts?”  
“Urm, yes? No? What's the answer?”

She smiled a bemused grin and raised an eyebrow.

“You already look so beautiful I wouldn't noticed if they covered you in a dress woven from horsehair and twigs. Neither would I care. You always look beautiful to me.” I must have hit the mark as her face melted into forgiveness. “Let me guess, Fergus is mortified he let us get into danger whilst we were here and has sent clothes and maids to help you feel better.”  
“Not exactly.”

Using my shoulder to hoist herself to her feet, she slowly staggered over to the table near the door and opened quite an important looking box. A disturbingly familiar box. It was bound in red leather with an ornate gold clasp. Yes, I recognised it. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. She took something out of it and hobbled back over. I couldn't help but wear a pained expression as I squeezed my eyes shut and held my hands out. Something heavy and cold was placed into them. My nose wrinkled.

“Urgh.” I said without opening my eyes. “I'm pretty convinced it's not my sword you have just dropped into my hands.” Mia laughed softly through her nose.

Creaking my eyelids open a pinch, it was pretty hard to ignore the mass of circular metal that was my crown.

“Hey, they got the dints out!” I claimed excitedly, drawing it closer and examining it.  
“Yes, please do not use it to play fetch with our dog again.”  
“That dog is fearless. I don't suppose he's along, is he?”  
“Unfortunately no.” she laughed, sniffing away the last of the tears.

Looking up, she met my eyes with a sad smile that melted my heart. How much pain was I going to put the woman through? The crown was put aside on the bed and I drew her into a protective cuddle. As I settled back onto the pillows, my arms wrapped around her. She was soft and warm against my chest as I lay there stroking her hair, trying to soothe her. Minutes flew past as I felt her body settle.

“I love you, Mia.” I whispered as I gently kissed the top of her head.  
“I love you too. So much.”

Her head raised from my chest. Inches from my mouth. My beautiful wife lay on top of me, wrapped up in wonderfully tight clothes, and here I was unable to do anything. Oh Maker, it was hot.

“Blood loss, you say?” I joked impishly, nodding to my crotch.  
“Alistair!” she exclaimed with amusement, readjusting where she lay.

I pulled her into another embrace, only this time her lips were hot against mine. There was a mixture of passion and laughter about the way she kissed me but I could also taste the desperation that she had almost been a widow in the salty tears around her mouth.

“... get this … off me ...”  
“Kiss me, now!”  
“Wait, the crown!”  
“Fuck the crown!”  
“Okay... Come here, my love.”  
“Ouch!”  
“Aiyee, oo that hurt!”  
“Shift a bit. Ummm, that's better.”  
“Maker, you're hot ...”  
“You too. Ow, spasm.”  
“You okay!?”  
“No, leg cramp.”  
“Let's get these clothes off.”  
“It's caught on something. Just rip it, by Andraste's blood!”  
“Nope, it's going to rip bandages off. Wait a second, I think I've got it ...”  
“Aaaaahhhh!!”

Mia and I just stared at each other as we both panted, not from sexual arousal but from pain and discomfort. It was a passion killer for definite. We spent several moments in silence. It was her eyebrows ruffling that did it for me, followed by the pressed lips that threatened to burst. Her eyes laughed out loud before she did. I couldn't keep my laughter in any more and it burst forth in snorts and loud guffawing. We both giggled at the stupidity of what we had tried to do in our conditions. She kissed me on the lips and smiled.

“Aston would be most amused at what we tried to do. It pays true testament to his healing powers.”  
“True.” I nodded with a bemused and pained smile.  
“What do you want to do now?”  
“I feel ready to try and stretch my legs. Why don't we go and see about some food?”

As I tried to get up, she just sat there and didn't move to help me.  She took my hand and lovingly pressed her lips to my fingers, leaving her warm lips there for an age. With a deep sigh through her nose, she looked up at me with those big blues, remaining steadfastly silent. It was obvious; she loved me.

What more did I need?

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm trying to do NaNoWriMo at the moment, hence the proliferation of chapters. That and I kind of love these guys ;)


End file.
